Alderney
by NyaaPower
Summary: So this is my OC Alderney, he is called Frazier Kirkland, there is explanations and descriptions and everything else in the story, so here it is ta-daaa thank you and I hope you enjoy it and stuff
1. 100 Things Alderney Is Not Allowed To Do

**So here is it, sorry it took a while to be made, but here it is, 100 things Alderney will not do**

**I don't own hetalia or any of the things that might be mentioned here too**

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1) I will not start fires in the meeting room just as an excuse to sing "Pound The Alarm"

2) Germany gets mad and hits me

3) I will not dress as Sealand and tell Latvia I love him in exchange for money from Hungary and Japan

4) I will not get into arguments with New Zealand over what are better, sheep or rabbits

5) Even if it is rabbits

6) And I should also cut the "Made In China" tag off my sorry present to him

7) I will not wear a maid outfit when England has guests and when he leaves the room ask them to save me

8) It causes England problems and is immature

9) I will not lose a battle to France

10) Again

11) Leaving unconscious bodies, mine or anyone else's, around France is irresponsible and dangerous

12) I shouldn't ignore England's self-defence classes

13) They're important

14) Even if they end up in England giving up anyway

15) I will not beat Sealand's pokemon team too fast

16) I should also let him win

17) Nooooo it's too fun to see his losing face

18) I will not say that England and France have sexual frustration

19) France will say I have it too

20) Which I don't

21) I don't, stop looking at me like that T^T

22) I will not practise my tennis swings in world meetings

23) I only speeds up the chaos and the ball ends up in Spain's gazpacho

24) I will not snap my fingers in a Z formation to emphasise how correct I am

25) I will be quiet when Japan takes out his katana

26) It means he's mad

27) The same goes for Russia and his pipe

28) And no one wants Russia mad

29) I will not use Cyprus' hair like a moustache

30) I will not remind Russia of the 12th of September when Belarus is around

31) In fact I will not talk to Russia at all, it enrages Belarus

32) The time England sold me to the church is an inappropriate story to tell at meetings

33) I will not try to beat Japan at dance dance revolution

34) There is no point and I normally end up crying

35) I should challenge Austria instead

36) He is easy to beat

37) I will not tell "yo mama" jokes to Sealand

38) I respect Finland

39) I will not eat escargot and speak French around a drunk England

40) He'll rant about 'The Frog'

41) I will not start singing when Germany starts talking

42) Even if he is just jealous

43) Duets with Seborga during serious moments are also banned

44) I will not play the 'which pokemon are you?' game during meetings

45) Japan is absol

46) I will not brag about the fact I'm in Grand Theft Auto

47) I will not tell France that 2-3 French kisses a day increases your resistance to stomach disease

48) It will only encourage him

49) I will not sing 'Titanium' to Sealand

50) He is made of steel… not titanium

51) I will not attempt to beat New Zealand at rugby

52) Or Italy at football

53) I should just stick to golf and tennis

54) I will not turn up drunk to meetings during Alderney week

55) Grudges towards Germany about him making Alderney cattle extinct are useless

56) Even if it is his fault

57) Jerk Germany

58) I will stop acting like Sealand...

59) I will not claim that the Eurovision song contest is more important than world meetings

60) Even if it is

61) I will not try to teach Sark how to drive

62) He's fine with horses

63) And his streets are far too narrow

64) I will not start lotima levan polka'ing with Finland in meetings

65) Even if it does get me better Christmas presents

66) I will not give Norway my address instead of England's for the Christmas tree

67) I will just wait for Norway to gift me something

68) Eventually….

69) Still waiting Norwayyyy~

70) I will not laugh at the number 69

71) The micronations will ask me why

72) And it's awkward, and if I explained it to Sealand, Sweden would hurt me

73) I will not be scared of sea levels

74) Even if I am a small island

75) England will save me

76) I will not be scared by England's scary fairytails

77) Russia's are muuuuuuch scarier

78) Witches on chicken legs *shudders*

79) I will not talk about twilight around Romania

80) He tried biting me once because I asked him if he sparkled

81) I will not do impressions of Poland

82) Even if I can like totally nail is liet~

83) I will not look at America with a blank expression when he says "Faucet"

84) It means tap apparently

85) And I won't cry and try to jump out of the car when he drives on the wrong side of the road

86) I will not paint people giving the 2 fingers on England's walls again

87) Even if it did mean victory

88) I will not us the excuse of "Team Spirit" to make okay either

89) I will not try and make Japan look like a ganguro girl

90) Even if he did invent it

91) I will not get Greece to help back me up with point 89

92) I will not send people I don't like's boats into whirlpools

93) But I never did that

94) Everrrr

95) Wearing fake glasses will not make me smart

96) Take America for example

97) 96 backwards is 69 heheehehe

98) I'm so immature *Facepalm*

99) I will not do any of the aforementioned

100) I will not follow point 99 and I will probably be doing at least 1 of these things by tomorrow

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-Explanations-

12) England has tried to build castles and fortify Alderney over the years but many if the times they have failed due to some problem or another

30) September 12th in Russia is known as the "Day of Conception" which is a day for 'increasing the population'

46) In Grand Theft Auto, "Liberty City" is the city you're in and it's based off New York City, and New Jersey, being a channel island, is changed and called Alderney to represent it

55) Alderney cattle was a breed of cow but when Germany invaded lots of them were eaten and eventually they became extinct

61) Sark, another channel island, has very narrow streets and in most areas cars are banned and the main way of getting around is on horse and cart

78) In Russian folklore a witch called yaga baba lives in a house that is on top of a pair of chicken legs

86) During WW2, lots of kids drew these pictures to try and scare the Germans away if they should ever get into Britain

92) On one of the coasts of Alderney, there are really harsh currents and riptides and whirlpools that used to destroy boats that went near

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**OMG so I finally finished I really hoped you like it and my OC and stuff wooooooo leave reviews too pleaseeee**


	2. Bio

**Soo this is the bio thing I was talking about in the 1****st**** chapter so yeah, I hope you enjoyed the stuff I did, and here's the little section so yeah read my child, read**

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His human name is Frazier Kirkland; he has sandy brown hair that's close to blonde, and an ahoge that spins around a lot to represent the whirlpools that occur on part of the coast, but Japan hasn't told him it also represents stupidity yet either, and blue eyes. In the past he lived with France, when France took over England at the Battle of Hastings, he became very loyal to England and stayed with him since. England has tried toughening him up in the past but they failed and ended with either Alderney falling asleep or England just giving up. In the 100 years' war France beat him, which made France quite proud that he actually beat someone, albeit Alderney, a small island, and then England had to come and save him. However France and he are still close. He is closest to his brother Guernsey out of all of the Channel Islands; he is younger than Jersey and Guernsey but is older than Sark. He friends with Norway and has a big admiration for him; this sparks back from when Viking Norway found the island and helped him develop his language. He can't play football very well, and always loses to Jersey and Guernsey; he also played football with Sealand and lost. England cares a lot for him, but some people say that his and France's influence on him are what caused him to forget his language; England likes to go to his island to relax. Germany wrecked the island when he attacked it in World War 2 and England made him clean everything up when the allies won, but when Alderney returned he realised that Germany had burnt lots of the houses for fuel and fire, so England came and rebuilt the island for him, Alderney had to turn to farming and agriculture to pay back England for his help. He's very friendly and the island has had tourism increase, he can also fly planes and hosts the European Air Race finals, he flies a lot and goes from island to island in his plane. When he lived with France, France made him wear a maid outfit (like chibitalia) thinking he was a girl, and when he realised he was a boy, he made him wear the maid dress anyway despite some objection by Alderney France forced him to. His island has a lot of wildlife and people from the island are called 'Les Lapins' (The Rabbits) by people from France, he also has a pet rabbit that he keeps but hasn't named yet.

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**I said it was going to be short, so yeah, that's all I can think of, I hope you enjoyed reading everything and thank you it means a lot. I hope I got all the facts right :o**


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